Pre-read note: My writing is crap. I have all these ideas but when I write them out, I feel like they are nothing but disappointing. Rather than dwell on this, though, I am just going to run with it. Especially since I think I am coming closer and closer to the end of New Wings.
Chapter twenty-five, section three:
What is real?
Is anything?
Was my friendship with Jake real? Was my relationship with him real? Was he even real, or had he always been acting and lying?
I looked up at the bookcase towering above me, the file drawer open where I had pulled Jake’s files from.
What is this place? What is this world?
I slowly stood up, wiping my eyes.
I could feel myself started to shudder again, I could feel the tears threatening again. But this time I shook my head back and forth, clearing my thoughts until I was standing in this dark passage through history with the only emotion that comes after breakdown: anger.
I felt something pulse through me that I hadn’t felt in a long, long time: the drive to run. It drove me out the door of the library, leaving the photos and files scattered everywhere, and down bright, windowless hallways. My feet carried me faster and faster until I was running in circles through the maze of the building. I hit a dead end with only a single wooden door and I stopped although I was hardly out of breath, realizing I was lost.
For a second I considered what I was running from exactly. I couldn’t quite pinpoint it. Not Jake exactly, but what he represented. Not my school itself, but the idea behind it. Not Amy or the others, but their values and beliefs. Not the graphs or the charts, but the control embedded in them.
I’m running from this world.
That’s when I opened the door in front of me to find – a stairwell.
Can feel the rush in your writing here, but you get away with it because it matches the content. Don't worry, you're doing fabulously.
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