A love story for teens by a teen with no love life.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Chapter 7 (post three)


Pre-note: Here's the last part of chapter seven, or by my books, chapter six. It's good that I'm only up to chapter seven/six, as I have written nothing for New Wings in weeks. I have been writing, but only stressful assignments for Creative Writing. Each one I love, then the teacher makes some comment on how to improve it, then I feel shot down and I am uninspired to fix anything. I know she doesn't mean it that way, and I really should be taking her advice, but after I go through the stress of writing a piece in a week, especially one I actually like, I am not very good with criticism. 
Anyways! Here's the next section >.<
PS -- Thank you, again, Gremikin, and I will have to Facebook Dristy about that lol!
Chapter seven, post three:
The room looked empty and skeletal. There was a bed, dresser, wardrobe, desk, side table, and spaces where another one of each item once stood on the other side of the room. Each object was built simply; matching in modern, generic style and dark wood material.
Jake stood in the doorway as I stepped into my new home.
“How do you like it?” he asked, “I got you a room all to yourself, so hopefully it’s more comfortable for you to settle into.”
“It’s.... simple.” I said, running my hand over the blankets, the same blue as throughout the school and repeated on these walls, and calming my beating heart.
 “It’s nice,” I said truthfully. The colour was brighter than the sterile white back in the hospital. “I like it.”
“I’m –” Jake was cut off as a man in a janitor’s uniform arrived with my three suitcases and backpack from the car. He was there, and then he was gone, silent as a mouse. Jake continued, “I’m going to give your papers to the office. I’ll be back in ten minutes, feel free to explore but don’t get lost.” He smiled, and then disappeared out the door.
I unpacked all the clothes from the suitcases, placing them in neat piles in the dresser drawers. The dresses and school skirts I hung in the little wardrobe in the corner of the room. Next, I lined up all the school supplies along the desk. I found an outlet for my desk lamp and alarm clock, placing them on their appropriate tables. My new, shiny laptop I carefully laid on my desk. I took the suitcases and stuck them under the bed for storage, so you could see the pretty yellow colour peeking out into the room.
Then, I sat on my bed. The emptiness on the left side of the room bothered me; ghost items stared at my furniture. The room reminded me of the loneliness that had replaced my old life. Sick of the empty space, I jumped up. I managed to push my bed into the middle of the room. Looking around, I decided the wall where the second bed used to be would be perfect to put my headboard against. Satisfied with its position, I moved the side table beside it, then ignored my sore arms and reposition the desk and dresser to best use the rest of the space.  I was panting but happy by the time Jake returned.
“Sorry I took – oh!” He looked at around at the room. “This looks great!”
“Thanks.”
His grin was huge and proud, as though I’d past a test rather than managed to move furniture. “I was talking to the principle. They’re really happy to have you. I also found out that they don’t supply bathroom products.”
He looked at my puzzled face. “You didn’t look around, did you?”
“No, I was moving things. I thought you said there weren’t bathrooms here.”
He walked over to the corner of the room to a door I had assumed was a closet. He opened it to show me a bathroom, white and blue, missing a toilet but complete with a Jacuzzi bathtub, sink and walk-in shower.
“Oh!” I gasped. I had never even been in a Jacuzzi bathtub before; I’d only seen them in other people’s houses.
“We have bathrooms here. They’re used for washing.”
“Wow...”
“The janitor is coming by with some shampoo and soap for you to use for now, while I go out and buy some nicer things.”
“I actually can’t wait.”
Jake laughed. “Well, I guess I’ll go shopping now. I’ll be by tomorrow, to drop off the stuff and to see how you’re doing. I think you’ve missed dinner now, so you may have to just wait until morning if you wanted something. The lights have to be out by ten, but it’s only eight, so you have tons of time to have a bath before then.”
Jake showed me how to lock the door from the inside or outside, as well as how to use the card I’d seen earlier or password to unlock the hotel-like lock. Then, he left, just as the janitor returned with a bottle of shampoo, a bottle of conditioner, a bar of soap, a washcloth and some towels.
I had a blast playing with all the different settings and jets in the tub, although the wings attached to my back freaked me out a little, and before I knew it, it was lights out. I fell asleep without tossing and turning only because I was warmed by the blankets on my cold skin.

2 comments:

  1. I honestly got the shivers when I saw the words "skeletal" and "room" combined in one sentence.

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  2. "Each object was built simply; matching in modern, generic style and dark wood material."

    Simplistically might work better, since simply has a finicky and more abstract use. And no semi-colons.

    Jacuzzi? It's gotta be heaven. Do I detect a hint of idealism creeping into the life of thy protagonist?

    In light of the fact that I know the ending, I like how you put in a subtle clue by Jake's reaction to the furniture rearrangement. You're very good at that.

    It is like following a delicious trail of buttery crumbs to an even more delicious buttery cake...castle. :P

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