A love story for teens by a teen with no love life.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Chapter 15 (post one)

Before you read the next chapter...
A short section! So I can ramble! Muhaha!
Ok, so I still am not writing >.< But I WANT to! Which is a good sign! I have exams to study for, however, so they take priority (at least most of the time). As soon as I have spare time, though, the word count on this crazy draft will be rising. 
So here is where I emphasize draft again. I have a general idea where I want the story to end up, but I'm having trouble filling in the space between. I also need to figure out what is really up with this society. I think I want to find problems in our society then blow them up in this society. Right now originality is a big thing, and I'm thinking I could work gender relations in pretty easily. Opinions and suggestions would be great though, cause I'm still not sure.
This section is very brief and I'm thinking I need to up the impact in the small section. Comments are greatly appreciated!
Chapter fifteen, section one (pg 46 for my reference): 
When I woke up the next morning, it hit me. The night with Jake had wiped the details of my life from my mind, leaving me in a daze as I fell asleep. Yet, as soon as I was awake, I recalled the fact I didn’t know where I would be sitting in English that morning. The seat beside Cara and Amy would either have my replacement, or else they would be on the other side of the room, and the seats beside me would be empty.
I dressed slowly, trying to think about the past instead of the future. I slipped into a polo, thinking about the way Jake’s hand had felt, my wings opening and closing on their own accord. As I pulled my knee-high socks over my calves, I thought about the way my head fit perfectly into the slot of his shoulder.
Walking to the school building, I went over the whole night in my mind. When I reached the classroom door, I decided that I had had the most wonderful night of my life, and nothing could take away from that.
I stepped into the classroom with confidence, confidence that slowly crept from my grasp as I searched for a seat. The seat where I normally sat was taken by a brunette whose name I didn’t recall, but who I had seen before. The only empty seats seemed to be on the other side of the room, and whenever I tried to sit next to a familiar face, they would place their bags in the way, mumbling something about saving a seat. Finally I found a pair of empty desks at the back, where I hid for the rest of the class.

1 comment:

  1. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm I'm missing a few things I think but that's alright. Short section, so not much to say except that I liked the last two sentences very much. They convey exactly what is happening and what she is feeling in the least words possible.

    ReplyDelete