Chapter 18 (post two)

Pre-read note: So I wanted to make a slideshow of drawings and call it "Annika's sketchbook" just for fun. But, of course, my printer hates me and refuses to do anything than making really annoying noises. So no scanning drawings right now >.< I will hopefully befriend my mothers printer and get it to work instead, so fingers crossed, the photo slideshow will be made at some point.

Also, again fingers crossed, thanks to my fabulous artistic friend, there may be character sketches of Annika and Jake posted at some point! Some point being after Christmas break at the earliest, probably, though.

Lastly, just a reminder not to judge based only on this blog, since these sections here are written a little randomly and will need serious editing later on. Thanks.

Chapter eighteen, section two (pg 52):

I missed it all.

By the time I was dressed in the morning, I had already remembered it all. By the time I was out the door, I had already felt it all. By the time I got to class, I had missed it all. By the time school ended, I didn’t feel it at all.

I started spending the days in my room after school. At first I was restless; I would pace my room until I gave up, took a shower and crawled into bed. After a few days, I began to skip the pacing, then a few days after that I began to skip right to the sleeping.

Sleep was better than the real world. In my dreams, I was back at home. I would take Izzie to the park, go to school with Beth, cook with my mom. Here in Heaven, I was nowhere close to home.

No one noticed I was missing, no one noticed I was a ghost in school. All it took was a couple days and I was just another student who sat in their class or walked by them in the hall. Without my name, it was even easier to disappear.

I even started to miss classes. I would sleep in or leave early. I spent most of my time in bed. The homework I had always been on top of piled up.

The weekends were harder. Jake would call, email and knock on my door. I always had excuses, though. To him, I sounded like a social butterfly. I was at parties, at peoples’ houses, studying for major tests, working on extra-credit projects. He always sounded slightly disappointed, but never asked too many questions.

Nights were the worse. I would sleep most of the day, then toss and turn at night. I would live in a world between dreams, wishes and the world I was really living in. These nights ended in tears. One second I was back home, the next I was all alone. My room would grow smaller until all there was was me in my bed, covered by sheets, with no one to comfort me, shaking in sobbing in a world I didn’t want to be in. All that would run through my head would be, “What kind of Heaven is this?”